The past few months, I have completed some of the hardest workouts I’ve ever done in my life and experienced the hardest truths about myself. I don’t think I could have done one without the other. I started my half marathon training at the back end of volleyball season, mixing running and extra workouts with what I was already doing with my team. I ran in the cold, the rain, and through the hardest finals season of my life. I ran with a blood blister, the flu, and tears from how much pain I was in. I have run further and faster than I ever thought I could.
During this journey, I learned more about myself than I ever could without running. I am a volleyball player, a student-athlete, and an Urban Studies major, but those are only things that I do, they aren’t who I am. I run because I want to know who I am and what I’m made of. I want to push myself beyond the limits I have internally set for myself and what others have set for me. I run because I want to grow as a person and I know that growth is only found in discomfort.
Among other things, running is scary and can be uncomfortable for many people. When we do run, it is tempting to stay at a comfortable pace and distance because it’s easier. During the last few months, I’ve challenged everything I thought I was capable of. On November 25th, I ran five miles. On December 25th, I also ran five miles but this time I ran it 5 minutes faster, shaving a whole minute off of each mile. A few days after Thanksgiving, I ran one mile in 8 minutes and 22 seconds with the intention of running more, but I was so tired that I needed to stop before continuing. Two weeks ago, I ran six miles and the last mile at an 8 minute pace…something I never thought I could do after just running five miles.
I am so proud of how far I have come and excited for what is to come. I didn’t break these personal records by staying in my comfort zone and just worrying about finishing 13.1 miles. What I wanted to do instead is own that race and see just how fast I am. There was so much discomfort I faced in my training, but I am only a stronger person and runner because of it. Let’s face it, who ISN’T scared of running 13 miles?
On January 11th, I ran the Charleston Half Marathon. My goal was to finish in under two hours. The first six miles felt great as I ran through the streets of Charleston filled with people cheering. The next three miles felt alright, and the tenth mile started to hurt. At this point, I was still on pace to finish in under 2 hours. During the 11th mile, I started to feel pain throughout my legs and my entire body. I tried and tried to keep pace, but I knew that there wasn’t much left for me to give. For the first time since I started training, I wasn’t so sure that I could finish. Not a minute went by that I didn’t think about stopping to walk, even just for 30 seconds, so that I could stop hurting. But while my legs were telling me to stop, my mind had prepared for how much this was going to suck. The 11th, 12th, and 13th mile were each slower than the last. The last three miles felt like 13 miles in itself. Every corner I turned, I hoped the finish line was waiting.
When I dropped pace, I knew I wouldn’t finish in my goal time, but I knew it could still be close. So, I pushed on, refused to walk, and fought through every painful step. I reached the finish line in 2 hours, 5 minutes, and 9 seconds. I can say with 100% confidence that I gave everything that I had and I left no doubt within myself that I could’ve done better. Can I do better in the future? Yes, and that’s what I plan on doing, but on that day that was the best I could do, and that’s okay. We all start somewhere, but the hard part is that we have to start and keep making the decision to start every single day. Whether that be half a mile, a mile, three, five, or ten miles, we all can do that and be better than we are today. I know there will be setbacks, good times, bad times, happiness, and pain. Progress is a process and I love every part of it because I know I will only be better, stronger, and faster for it. Next up, 26.2.
Chasing Me 